onli.heaven.knows.

2006-02-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

jo- in my shop. wearing a skirt.

2005-12-22T05:35:00.000+08:00

bid farewell, people.

mentally and physically tired.

2005-12-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

when the minute hand strike 12,
i fell back to the world of my own sadness.
dumb-ass i am,
i just want to be alone.
maybe change for good.
things that i dont take it to heart
in the past.
now i do.
cos your existance became important.
but times after times u break my heart.
this time...
it will never be the same.
never.
i seem to be suffer from another
heart-break/ break-up.
how dumb can i be?
went over to your hse and yet
you are out.
no reason, no call, no explaination.
i dont need all this.
i dont deserve this.
then, u didnt tell me
that the dinner is cancel.
i went to tp and stay there alone.
revenge?
i think you have enough.
i had, before, got over you*
and live in the world of my own fantasy.
but words you said held me back,
and make me stay.
and i simply assume
that u dont want me anymore.
this shall be our good-bye.
my last slash for you.
no more tear, no more blood,
no more sleepless night.
you broke my heart again.
take care-

----------------------------
thanks k*.
for all the talking and company
thru' out the night.
(:
i feel safe.
----------------------------

youdontneedme,liar.

2005-12-11T03:58:00.000+08:00

i dont know how to describe how
i feel now.
a little empty;
a little lonely;
a little breathless;
a little lovesick;
a little sad...
how long suha life of mine
will end?
all my closest ones left me.
some went overseas,
some busy with their new life.
i feel like slashing myself again.
let the blood flow.
let my misery go away.
i occupy myself with work,
but i still feel the emptiness within me.
baby*,
i miss you.
at times,
u make me feel like a fool.
i'm lost in you.
you're my strength.
if you let go of me or yourself,
i wont want to live.

you mean the world to me.

2005-12-09T00:40:00.000+08:00

for you; a*.
i thought that i know you
through your skin.
every single little detail of you
i knew.
i came to realise i was wrong.
i know everything and nothing
about you.
contradicting like most people said.
no. my feeling for you have not fade.
but i become numb to everything you said.
sat down by the road,
i knew that it was a pack of lies.
but i chose to deny.
why must you lie?
why must you spite me?
do you know i still love you alot?
on the surface,
it may seem like i am fine,
moving on.
but NO, i am not.
i feel the sudden adrenalin gush thru
my veins and make me wanted to slash again.
i was held up by her*.
she told me things that i didnt know
and didnt expect.
it was all a lie i realised.
but why i asked myself?
i asked you why last night,
but u was admonish for failing to ans me.
baby,
u make me feel like a FOOL.

i'm lost cos'
i didnt make plans for the future
that dont consist of you.
and I LOVE YOU.

people asked why am i still
holding on to this r/s?
maybe you should try to move on...?
but i answered them.
"you know nothing about us.
we been through alot even though
we are never together before.
a* make my heart melts.
a* is nice to me
and i know when a* said 'i love you'
a* meant it from the bottom of the heart."

dear father,
i pray..
i pray that this love will continue
even though we go separate ways.
and fate will bring us back together
years later.

baby,
i didnt to things to spite you.
i didnt lie.
but i know you wont believe me.
is this gonna be our last good-bye?
take care-

------------------------------
sometimes it feels as though your attention
has wandered for just an instant.
then,with a start,you realise that the book you were holding,
the white shirt with printed designs,
the favourite levi jeans and the pair of old shoes,
the bedroom,
the little dog in the kitchen:
all of these have vanished.
you are standing,
naked as a jaybird,
up to your ankles in the icy cold water
along the unidentified rural route.
you waited for a minute to see if
mayb you will snap back to your book,
your girl, your apartment,
your cup of earl grey tea, et cetera.
you came to realise is impossible.
just move on but
hold on to the hope that miracle do happen.

i miss you badly.

2005-12-07T01:46:00.000+08:00

it's hard being left behind.
i waited for you,
not knowing where you are,
wondering if you're okay.
it's hard to be the one who stays.
i keep myself busy.
time goes faster that way.
i go sleep alone,
and wake up alone.
i take walks.
i work until i'm tired.
eberything seem simple until you think about it.
why is love intensified by absence?

i miss you.

i sprained my ankle.
felt dead.

2005-12-03T02:05:00.000+08:00

depress i am.
slashing make me feel gd.
yes, i did it again.

i dont feel good at all.
never feeling gd.

my last good-bye.

2005-11-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

i dont feel good.
not at all.

something i read in the car,
"because i love him.
i'd get lost making all kinds of adjustments
in my life just to
be with him.
and if we broke up,
it would be so hard to put the pieces
back together."
tears rolled down uncontrollably.
yes, i agreed wholeheartly.
i am alone,
& i am tired.
you* drained all my energy.

suddenly on the streets just now.
i remember sth tat i promise god
the other time.
you* will be my last lover.
i told miao abt it.
sound silly.
but so far,
is true.

plan for the ugly:
i gonna buy the notebook
at far east.
walk all the way spins or coffee club
and start writing everything
that is in my heart.
den i lock it up.
something tat i wont share.
keep within me.

2005-11-27T02:05:00.000+08:00

i miss you*.
i feel so alone.
i feel so dead.

a pack of lies.
endured the whole days
not showing a trace of sadness.
i feel the pain within.
i feel like a alive zombie.
my mind went blank,
looking at the scars on my hand,
i feel like torturning myself once again.
the aftermath of slashing feel good.

you never know how fasintating is it
to fag your life away..
just to torture myself in all ways.
i feel better after tat.
i lost you*,
i lost myself too.

in me,
i'm full of hatred and sadness.
but i know..
i love you above all this shits.

the ugly and the beautiful.

2005-11-26T00:26:00.000+08:00

it's the end, my dear.
it just hurt so much that
i'm suffocating.
all the thousand words u said
had became meaningless.
& again..
promises are meant to be broken
between the both of us.
i wonder why..
beside ending this r/s
is there no other choices?
has the r/s lose it meaning?
everything that happened just now,
hurt me inside out.
it pirece through my heart,
it bleed badly
and how it bleed on me.
a few days..
define to me how long is a "few days"?
not seeing you,
making me missing you
is already killing.
i'm addicted to you
like how i am addicted to cigarettes.
shall i just let the candles burn away?
as well as the memories too.
i wish to see you,
i wish to hug you.
i wish...
again, it seem inpossible.
a r/s that i hold on for so long,
i finally release my hand and let it go.
you are like esctasy;
once taken is a addiction
is a habit.
is something i cant live w/o.
at this moment,
your face and words you said
appear in my brain randomly.
making me feel like
slashing myself.
and die.
shall i take the risk
of hurting myself..
i dont know.
you never care.
is my heart so fragile
that you can at snap of your fingers
forget about my existance.
tell me that you love me.
tell me that what u said before
is true.
i plead you,
lie to me.
lie to me that all this aint true.
tell me that i still can have you
in my arms.
torn apart i am.
heartbroken i am.
a broken heart that can never never
be replace as a whole anymore.
from the beginning till now,
you are hurting me.
why?
why must u do this to me?
why must you be the oone that bring laughter
and also tears in my life?

dear lord,
let me survive.
i plead you.
i'm suffering so much.
i'm dying inside out.
all i wan is a*.
give a* back to me.
i go down on my knees
and plead you.

the urge of torturing myself
is so strong.
the urge...

i want you. & i need you.

2005-11-23T01:33:00.000+08:00

back again on my lappy.
tired and drained.
is another long day out.
everyday i reflected
and i always come to realise
something different.
my life is not wreaked up.
i still have people that is there at all times.
like J.J and Y.O my dear.
they are people that remembers me existance.
ain't it?
i hope i'm not wrong about this.
--------------------------------
for that little one in my heart; a*.
i ask for nth but you being there
for me at all times.
promise me that u wont leave me
and assure me that i occupy that
little space in your heart.
sighs-
thinking about what i demand
is a little too much.
i was told that it
was jus nth...
sooner or later things will
go back to where it began.
and i always have the urge to let go.
but no more..
i gonna stay there,
stay through it
and live with it.
you bought tears to my life.
true and it's a fact.
but..
it was tears that make me realised
the importance of you in my heart.
once again..
just hold me close to your heart.
i'm fine with everything else.
(:
----------------------
goodbye is the saddest word.

2005-11-20T02:12:00.000+08:00

pathetic the word to describe my life now.
tears and heartbreaks are
all that fill my life now.
just hankering to go tanning
and chill with my clique.
jess, jess,jess..
here i am.
we shall go tanning together.
i hate those people that
make me fel left out.
i hate those people that i once
called closest.
just pull off those fake faces.
karma, people.
watch it.
just another hang-over will do good.
a wake-up call for me.
ain't it right?
sudden urge to leave this place.
a holiday will do.
and i will feel happy again.
(=.
planning to go bangkor or hongkong
with my mum.
nice-
clubbing, clubbing, clubbing..
sexy moves i miss.
dudes and babes getting close,
rubbing with one another..
the fun of being with strangers.
no-string attach, no fling..
jus a dance till dawn.
i need something HAPPENING
to brighten up my life.
------------------------
pretty beautiful sexy.
the way of life.
(:

realised; life is a mess.

2005-11-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

as usual i took a long bus ride home.
glancing through the window
and something triggers my mind.
then, i realised...
my life is in a mess.
tears and heartbroken heart;
in others' hearts and mine.
a* have made a big impact in my life.
i'm obessed about a*.
and i can never resist a's temptation.
i'm deeply, madly in love with a*.
however,
actions and verbal conversations between us
made me having the urge to walk away
from a* and shut a* off my life.
confusions and contradictions;
a* have become siginificant
and hold importance in my life.
head over heels about a*.
i thought..
hectic life and works
will made me forget about a's existance.
but i was wrong,
i miss a* more as each day passed.
having sucha thoughts
make me wanting to
commit an immediate suicide
to end all this "day-dreamings"
and "heartbreaking-days".
is just a habit
& an infatuation between us.
ain't it?
then again,
tears flood the beam of my eyes.
"you're never last on my mind."
loveeeee-

2005-11-17T15:27:00.000+08:00

i starting to feel that i cant live w/o you.
but yet...
is time to let go.
ain't it right?
i just wan to be alone.
tears filled with happiness.
those days with you
were so beautiful.
losing the courage to hold on.
goodbye my love.

2005-11-09T18:04:00.000+08:00

again i cried.
why is this r/s so fragile?
heart broken; devasted.
i dont feel good at all!
-----------------
the FUCKING BITCH:
u hurted me.
i dont understand why u must hate me so much.
she said u nv treat me as a fren.
hey girl, let me tell you this.
you are sucha freak!
u make me hate you now.
pleading me to sell you my jacket.
nah- u so fake.
i will rather give it to a begger.
you totally spoilt my mood.
and yes;
u win.
i'm so sad cos u said those words.
why is yoru life full of hatred?
i dont understand.
and now..
i nv want to understand.
u make me wanna give up.
but not anymore.
i may not meet up with her,
but i can be there.
always.

what a blog entry.
u are a total spoil-ass!
--------------------------------
still; i love you.

2005-11-08T19:03:00.000+08:00

you* (a) bring tears
as well as laughter
to my life.
i'm not me.
i'm so confuse.
why must we turn out to
be like this?
if one person have to make a choice up..
i will choose to let go of everything.
i'm tired of tearing
and asking for more.
when i know you have already tried your best.
if the world is coming to an end,
still..
i will choose to have you by my side only.
but father wants me to learn my lesson..
so i choose to be alone.
and wish you all the best.
thou' we know is hard.
let's give it a try.
loving you always.

2005-10-26T20:12:00.000+08:00

i felt that i'm wasting my time
on unrelavant things.
yepps.
today i had smoked my last stick
of cigareettes.
& now i trying to control & endure.
goddamit.
i keep seeing that stupid hp i like.
father, u really agitating my "implusivness".
monday is coming, hope i got enough.
i have this bitchy thingy on my mind.
sucha a slut to thought of it.
hais.
tmr.. i gonna be alone at home again.
alex working at the airport.
i wanna to stay home & save money.
been thinking alot today.
tot of the past.
tot of all the surprises & gathering i had before.
is all seem so unreal now.
sad at heart but..
this is my life.
handphone.. handphone.. 6680.
fairytales ever happened to me..
i hope i will fall asleep & dream
all those fairrytale dreams...
where someone pop out in front of
my hse door & surprise me.
------------------------------
i just dreaming my life away... ):

2005-10-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

i jus a arsehole.
we are surppose to
watch a show together..
yet cos' of me,
halfway thru we left.
i'm sorry.
i'm scare..
really scare.
dear father,
i promise to be good the next time.
i promise.
i scare that lil' evil off his wits.
he look lost now.
i dont feel like goin out.
just wanting to stay at home so much.
surprise and more surprise will cheer me up.
wonder when was the last time
someone give me a surprise.
i promise father & alex that
i will quit smoking.
yes, i will.
so dear father..
dont play anymore prank on me.
i promise i will be good.
went to loook at hp today.
i love that hp sooo muccchhh.
but must wait my pay to come.
nv want something so badly
for so long.
past impulsive, make me flat-broke.
so sick now but i cant sleep.
dont know why..
jus feel is not right.
i'm so scare.
i just need sth to cheer me up.
alex has his driving test tmr..
i pray for you to pass it well.
------------------------
i feel weak & useless.i powerless now.

2005-10-25T02:01:00.000+08:00

that little evil thing is sleeping now.
so soundly.
i dont have the heart to wake him up.
(:
i found out something,
he dont really shut his eyes
when he sleep.
laughs.
---------------------------------
today or can say just now..
i found out that
my whole entire life,
i'm all about daydreaming.
is all empty words.
i can never get what i want in life.
handphone, nano, a true friend,
a wonderful r/s and all..
i'm just daydreaming.
i feel like escaping to
another world
where all this seem so real.
issit a bad decision to make
not to leave s'pore?
i having doubt about myself.
or maybe is i having
doubt about my life, my future?
the past caught me wondering.
is everything true,
all is it a pack of lies
that make between me and ade.
now..
all seem so unrealistic.
i need to breathe,
i'm grasping for air now.
i'm so stress up
over family problems and all.
-------------------------
glancing at the night-view,
i want to be cloud..
drifting from a place to another.
having the birds, sun and laughter
of the people to accompany me.
--------------------------
i know there's alot of ppl
loving me and care.
but i cant feel anything.
i start to withdraw from
all the attention ppl is
giving me.
i feel lit isolating myself.
in the past i remembered..
i felt lit this once.
i went mad that
i bought myself a handphone.
everything in the phone was gone.
all my precious memories.
feeling tired now.
):
-------------------------
all i need is a pillar for me to rely on.

sad.

2005-10-24T10:38:00.000+08:00

what's happening?
mood swing and all.
i getting so sick of myself & my life.
selfish thinking is all i have on mind.
i don't know what do i want.
with all this mood swing i having,
i feel that i'm not ready for r/s.
am i very selfish to think this way?
is so unfair for him*.
but all i wan is to be alone
to sort out everything.
i'm too stress over my edu.
i'm sucha lazy person.
sigh-
i hate my handphone!
is spoil!
father, can someone buy me a hp?
and i promise to be nice to him/her forever.
but.. all this is jus daydreaming.
nobody on earth will do sucha a thing for me.
i bought a storybook yst.
seem lit is a good thing,
i should stay at hm and read.
isolate myself from the outside world.

nonchalanted; i need a fag.

2005-10-23T12:36:00.000+08:00

what i gonna type now
maybe a little contridicting.
i find life meaningless,
yet i got goals in my mind.
i gonna listen to him*.
enter a gov. sch.
if i go fashion school,
he will pay for my materials.
if i go engireering sch,
i can be a teacher.
sound so weird.
but i feel bless to know him.
he is my sunshine.
to be honest..
without him,
i left with nth.
really nth.
he's my everything now.
i'm so bored that i even change my wishlist.
alx wrking again
& i nv work.
just feel lit clubbing so much.
get tipsy
and get lay!
words by a bytch.
hahaaaa-
feel lit leaving my hse
and check out hp.
hmm..
mayb i should.
(:
alicia missing you*.

2005-10-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

i'm so shag.
so trouble by so much things.
educations, work...
but now i have only three things on my mind.
first; iPOD nano.
second; go on a DIET.
third; a storybook.
does it sound unrealistic?
sigh*
alex went to work
& i'm all alone.
god give me a chance in r/s.
& yet, i'm hesitating.
wtf*
i should cherish and appreciate instead.
imu-
--------------------------------
as for you*.
let's just give up.
j* is sucha a nice girl.
and i think what i did is right.
let's just move on.
seperate ways and seperate lifes.
):
-------------------------------
11 nov 2005 is coming.

2005-10-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

i'm wrong.
you are never mine.
and i never belong in this world.
leaving you is my bestest choice.
still;i love you.
do you know i feel weird seeing the two of you.
why must i make myself sad?
when i got sucha nice guy in front of me?
tears i teared, you worth all.
but-
selfish like me...
you neglected how i feel.
take care-

unpredictable you*

2005-09-30T01:48:00.000+08:00

again; i feel like cutting myself.
i know this is one of the selfish acts.
i'm lost.
you* make me confuse.
you* make me love you more.
i thought i have grown up.
no;i haven't.
if i'm sensible enough.
nth like this ever gonna happen to me.
i dont want to break my parents' hearts.
i can't be selfish.
i'm lost.
again;u touch my heart.
you know me well.
heard from her*,
you n her- getting together.
it break my heart.
i shouldn't think about all this.
and give you the happiness.
disappear; make me feel better.
i know i cant forget about you.
i'm so dependent on you.
with you, i feel safe.
but your heart is not with me.
i cant afford to hurt others and myself.
i know i'm selfish
but i know there's no way else
that will make me feel better inside.
i'm crying inside.
tearing apart; i'm gone.

i'm tangled up in you.

2005-09-16T02:00:00.000+08:00

cuts; blood.
i feeling better
after all the cuts and crying.
b; i called you,but u nv pick up.
i feeling terrible.
just leave me alone.
family problems; broken heart.
i think my dad is too nice a person
and nobody appreciate.
dad isnt happy, neither me.
i'm working real hard.
fcuk all the realtionship,
i just wan to work.
i jus wan my family to be happy.
jerk-ass, i hope u are here.
but again, fcuk it.

takemeaway.

2005-09-06T02:15:00.000+08:00

i met a nice guy on sat.
and today..
we went out on a date.
me, ju, alex, and his fren.
we went buffet den watch movie.
he is nice.
i was having a headache.
den he asked the movie ticket from me
and left.
he took veri long and i msged him.
den he appeared
with a bottle of water and med.
i'm touch.
thanks alex.
you're a nice guy.
-----------------------------------
reagan;
i'm confused.
i confortable with you
but you somehow dont really
know how to make me happy.
i'm sorry.
jus let go of me.
---------------------------------
jerk-ass;
stop all your crap.
wat you do is hurting.
hook up with a new girl.
happy for you.
all i wan to say to you
"fcuk off! you dont worth me sheding
another drop of tears for you."
i miss you but..
stop msging me.
i dont hope to have any connection
with you.
-----------------------------------
ihatemylifebutisfun.

2005-08-31T02:34:00.000+08:00

i miss you; jerkass.
you lied to me.
why?
if jill is there, just tell me the truth.
after her*, u are the next one tat
make me cried.
tat make me have butterflies in my stomach.
and everyday every night hoping to recieve
your msg or a call from you.
i dont feel the love anymore.
i will wait but i will not wait forever.
and now...
i'm letting it go.
you hurt me deeply.
if i gonna get attach,
pls dont come back to me.
still; i love you.
--------------------------------
reagan boy,
i'm sorry.
i cant accept you.
you treat me really well and nice.
is just flirting and fling.
give me time.
jerkass is all over my mind.
no doubt tat the way he treats me sucks
but he knows me well and more.
reagan boy,
happy birthday.

[sorry. i just cant accept you. i gonna say
["no" to you. sorry. i cause your burp-day to suck.]
-----------------------------------------
you, she...
i miss you badly.
thinking back abt the past
and those little things we do,
i realise you somehow still occupied
this little part in my heart.
thou' is nv possible again.
but... nvm.
really sorry.
i cant bring myself up to go out with you guys.
enjoy your stay.
meet up when free.
-------------------------------------
time changes everything.
include love.
i getting tired of all this.
i need a life.
job was fine but tiring.
i think i goin to find another part-time job
to do on the weekday.
-----------------------------------
i hate my parents and my family.
sorry to say all this but i do.
"son of a bitch" what fcuk?
will your mum scold you this?
nv...
deno goin mel soon.
eug too.
mel or perth?
wanny wanna go us.
hais.
----------------------------------
i need a break.
is all craps.
i too shag to write anymore.

//imissyou.jusgoawaysoicanforgetyou.//

2005-08-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

lesb event.
thumper.
damn fun.
no guys,
all gers.
haha.
olinda is there..
irene ang too.
saw old frens.
haha-
miss clubbing days-

baby.. you missed.

2005-08-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

that previous blog is for jerk-ass.
i realised is all a lie.
i feel like a failure.
tell me that is all a lie..
what others say is not truth.
you make me cried,
you break my heart.
i hope is over...
& it nv start.
tell me is all a lie,
tell me is over.
--------------------------------
i cant stop crying,
i'm stress over jerk-ass & studies.
i cant control myself.
i cut myself
& i fag a packet today
what's gone wrong in me.
-------------------------------
baby;
thanks you.
i mean a call
& talkin to you..
make me feel happy.
thanks
missed-
------------------------------
godstandbymysideplease.

so long i nv pray le...

2005-08-01T20:48:00.000+08:00

i just cant understand the ways
of all the men and their mistakes,
you give them all your heart
and then they rip it all away...
you told me how much yopu loved me,
and how our love was meant to be.
and i believed in you,
i thought that you would set me free...
you should've just told me the truth,
that i wasnt the girl for you...
still i didnt have a clue,
so my heart depended on you...
although i'll say 'i hate you' now,
though i'll shout and curse you out...
i'll always have love for you.
because i an a girl.

-kiss

2005-07-30T21:29:00.000+08:00

dancing in the rain.

i saw a group of ppl dancing
at the dance today.
suddenly the urge of dancing
again is so strong.
ballet-
i miss the move & everything.
-----------------------------
jerk-ass;
stop all the flirting with me.
i dont like the way we are.
jus stay pure.
i wanna to tell you so much.
but you are nowhere to be seen.
at least deno is there for ju.
jus hope you are well.
all you need is your jilly beans.
she's your girl.
----------------------------
boy;
be happy.
i mean lesser hope,
lesser pain.
move on.
& cheer up.
things w/o happiness
dont hold on.
---------------------------
baby;
i read your blog.
are you okie?
are you in pain?
i hope i am there
for you.
missed-
i went esplande that day.
i feelin veri after talkin you.
i went to places we went b4.
& miss it all.
i'll wait.
still;
i love you so much.
---------------------------
again;
i know someone new.
but i not interested.
but again,
i dont know how to turn down.
-------------------------
i promise i will wait for you, baby.
i promise...

2005-07-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

this is my journey.
i learnt to fight.
with every twist & turn;
i laugh & cried.

For I Cherish, You & I.

jerk-ass.

2005-07-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

breakdown.

i cried.

partly cos of her.

--------------------

i found a job.

some fucking part time job

payin me 9/hr

gd bucks.

-------------------

jerk-ass;

stop hurting with all your shit.

just go away.

-------------------

baby;

i hope you're fine.

i hope you are happy now.

i miss you.

but my life sucks.

you take care.

------------------

i had enough.

i cant take it anymore.

is all a burden to me.

leaving this pathetic dot,

i am not ready.

i want to stay here.

fuck*

let all the misery go.

-------------------

dontcrybutterfly.

2005-07-26T00:31:00.000+08:00

i cant forget about her*
i feel useless.
she* sick but i can't do anything.
& i ask ppl to pass message to her.
what's all this shit about?
i miss her.
i hope to stay by her side.
to give the usual encouragements
& listen to what she gonna say about her frens.
& laugh along with her.
pissing each other off.
i miss her open arms that i sank in every night.
but i'm not up to the game.
when is come to relationship or
maybe this only apply to her*..
i'm a failure.
i will wait but i will not wait forever.
cos' you make me believe in myself
like nobody else.
i miss that angel that always by my side.
she is enough for me.
realised; i miss her & i still love her.
i'm tired.
i dont know how long do i need to
forgo everything & start anew.
i hope i can talk to her,
& tell her how sucky my life is now
& tell her how much i need her to be here
for me. her encouragements to move on.
i miss her-
-------------------------
i cant control myself..
cuts & blood.
i feel better.
my dad did the preparation
to study overseas.
wtf*
why cant we live in harmony?
hope deno & wanxiang
go over with me.
i dont want to be alone.
all this shit make me insane.
she*, family... etc.
i feel like dying.
my stomach hurts alot now.
the stroll didnt seem to help me.
but i still bleed lit usual.
gosh-
tell me i'm goin to die.
& i'm glad to hear that.
---------------------------
jerk-ass;
thanks for sending me home.
i appreciated.
thanks for being so nice to me.
wonder how will my days look
like w/o you by my side?
missed-
----------------------------
day after day..
i getting bored of my life.
& i feel numb towards everything.
i should move on.
but i miss the past more than anything.
----------------------------
babytellmeyouarestillthereforme.
allineedisacallfromyoutomakemehappy.

2005-07-25T20:47:00.000+08:00

once again you brought tears to my eyes.
you missed her.
maybe you should have choose her
from the start.
i hate all this.
thou' i living in the world of my own.
but i'm not happy.
nv once.
is always the thought of you
that hold me back.
you hurt me,
& now i hurt others.
enough.
i shouldn't have fallen for you*
imu-

for you*

2005-07-21T23:05:00.000+08:00

oh yeah-

baby come to me,

remember how it used to be.

paradise is just oout of reach.

baby wont you please come to me..

-i miss you.

---------------------------------

drunkard ass-

that's my scandal.

thanks for the words,

thou' i ignore you & scold you

but i dont mean it.

you mean sth to me.

seriously you do.

but ssad to say.

is jus too late.

if i get to know you first,

things wun be the same anymore.

i'm sorry.

--------------------------------

boy;ilu-

thou' we keep quarrelling

& stuff.

i'm sorry.

i feeling guilty to hurt you so much.

i won't let go.

so dont worry.

missed-

-------------------------------

life changed;

i tryin to adapt to it.

moving out soon.

he* wanted to send me overseas.

but now- i dont feel lit going.

life as a smoker;

bring away all the shit in my life.

i wonder how issit like...

if i can die.

mood swing all the time.

with all the family problems

& shits.

my friends is my family.

i used to have somewhere

i called home.

but.. not anymore.

your heart; my home.

i feel so empty.

i feel numb.

--------------------------

babyitriedbuticanthelpmyself.

cantdisguisethewayifeelinside.

2005-07-16T12:21:00.000+08:00

This is for you*-
you cast a shadow on me,
make me live in darkness.
cos of you*...
i'm not myself.
do you know how sad i was?
you left, you dump all this shit here.
but me?
i'm here to suffer all alone.
cos of you,
i cried everyday.
i avoid my friends.
& you are so happy over there?
why do you do this to me?
i hate you.

2005-07-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

something is permanent;
not all.
the call make me miss you more.
i sounded silly to miss you.
i wanna to talk to you like we used to.
but..
i know in such way, i can nv forget about you*.
i cant let it go.
cos' you are the one that grow with me.
imu-
----------------------------
drunkard ass-
sun; deal!
our life seem so 'fun'.
balls.
---------------------------
boy;
imu-
good luck for your coming exams.
pathetic to name our life,
but i'm happy.
tanning on fri okie?
--------------------------

i miss that little dog & the rest.
amk-

2005-07-10T16:20:00.000+08:00

in my eyes,
you* stay intact to my heart.
you* brought the sunshine when i was down.
but now;
a pitch of darkness before me.
tears rolled like rain.
i miss you,
do you?
you ignore like you used to.
but..
not to worry... slowly i will go.
--------------------------
boy; i'm sorry.
i don't know how to make you feel better.
i promise that i will be there
cos' you are there when i was down.
imu-
take care.
i promise i will go clubbing
with you & wanxiang.
lover boy. =)
-------------------------
drunk ass*
hee-
sickening lars.
i'm not drunk,
den you all like domain,
one after another drop.
hee-
i love you guys.
chicko;ash;ashely;arul;
kyle;jane;eug;wx;deno;jun;
vicky;etc.
clubbing next week!
=P
---------------------------

//leaving the world of Ls.//

2005-07-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

Is you* again that bought tears to my eyes.
missing you* badly.
i lost my hp.
i cried.
cos' memories of us*.
but you don't need me anymore-
nv again.
baby-
you still mean alot.
no one else come close.
history...
---------------------------------

boy;
thanks for being by my side.
without fail; you make me laugh.
fags we share; bought memories.
ilu-
hee-
our little secret.
--------------------------------

ppl in sch;
i love you guys.
sat; drinking & fagging the night away.
guys; cheer up.
smiles.
=)
-------------------------------

i really wonder how much a mouth
can say.
& there's two.
amazing but i dont give a damn.
come'on get a life!
lol-
watch your sins.

2005-07-04T12:48:00.000+08:00

boy; thanks for being with me.
ilu-

for you & the rest;
just do whatever you all wan.
i don't want to care anymore.
i find myself stupid in the past
to believe all you said.
a sense of security is just a lie.

& that girl-
stop it lah!
i had enough.
just kindly go away
& i will be happy.
you got nth to do with me
anymore.

wanxiang;my mate.
hee-
laugh our heart out.
so funny.
laos- go malaysia.
nvm, sat i goin over too.
idp send me my letters le.
oi- you faster go do lehs.
maybe we go mel, i dont want
to go perth anymore.
den we can meet up with jane there
when she got marry.
& i intro you to eugene.
hee-
love you.
we got so many things in common.
so fun.
=)

my friend asked me this question
last night,
'are you happy?'
& the 1st thing tat pop out was you*
but now,
i think i was wrong to think about you*
stop everything pls.
i'm not avoiding or watever.
memories & all.
i hate to let go.
am i wrong to love you?
i seriously miss you*
life without quarreling with you
seem so werid & quiet.

i have know someone new.
perphap love deserve a second chance.

2005-07-01T16:58:00.000+08:00

the urge of sitting at spinellie is just so strong.

with a cup of english tea & a packet of fag.

a luxury-

i miss those days.

broken heart;

nv meant to be mend.

shattered into pieces

& forever it will be.

experience a whole load of new things.

kinda fun.

fill in later.

i want to go out now...

i hate ppl nagging at me.

2005-06-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

i'm missing you badly.
thou' we are only frens now,
we still quarrel.
i hate it.
i really do-
if that's us.
i will learn to let go.
it seem so hard to let go;
it seem so hard to forget about you*;
i still love you*
i'm swaying.
whether to love or hate.
i know you* will be the last.
anyway-
i cut all contacts with them le..
so i wun even care.
bye-

2005-06-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

i miss you-

i off my hp,

so i wont msg you.

i control myself.

blood fill my world.

i'm tired.

yes; i am.

that weirdo-

why in your life no more green le?

missing you.

meet up soon.

dont want you to see in sucha

ugly state

& you confirm will scold me

knowing i cut myself.

hee-

playing cheat again; that's me!

da zhi de-

thanks.

for telling me the truth.

wan xiang-

thanks for wanting to go over perth

with me.

yupps-

my room in green

& yours in red.

love you.

the rest-

sorry.

i dont feel lit talking.

i'm okie.

alston-

knowing you need me now.

but i'm sorry that i cant be there.

take care my boy.

cheer up-

that guy-

stop wasting your time.

i'm a lesb.

& i still love her*.

go away-

//time seem lit years, i hope to die.//

2005-06-27T00:12:00.000+08:00

i really sad.

just let me alone.

i nv lie.

but-

whatever.

i tired of all this things.

i'm not strong,

but i acting to be one.

what's the point?

just go away.

maybe lit this i will be happy.

i love you;

yes i still do.

yupps-

from now onwards,

i wan to be alone.

no more crook's life.

fuck off & i'll be thankful.

what i told you;

are not true.

i know i can nv let it go.

& i know..

i wun be the same anymore.

i thought;

i still got you.

no; i'm wrong.

you're nv the one.

i can nv be ur pillars anymore.

be strong.

god, love you.

father;

take me with you.

just a deep cut & let it go.

i being selfish

but i know...

i will happier

not to think abt it anymore.

i'm always the silly one.

but not anymore,

if you take me with you.

i feel hurt inside.

tears roll, blood flow.

For that person that email me;

thanks for ur email.

it brighten up my day.

thanks for your care.

appreciated.

i replied your email,

so hope to see you soon.

Auntie;

you're the closest yet the furthest.

heard from daddy

that i'll be staying with you.

yupps.. so happy.

i wun alone.

wait for me ar...

i'm coming.

hope you dont stay far away for my sch.

for you;

take care.

i will let go.

if got chance,

we will meet again.

but not here.

still; i love you.

not goin to blog soon.

i wan to be alone.

sleeping all the way.

i have no aim in life now.

just slack it.

take care peeps.

i nv on hp.

so hope to see you guys on the street.

bye-

//i wan to hold it back;maybe it will better this way.//

2005-06-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

Tell me that you love me.

Tell me that you do.

Tell me all this for me for me to stay it through.

i missing you badly

& wondering are you...

baby-

pls, for me, you'll wait.

hold on to this relationship for my sake.

pls... on my knee, i beg.

Tell me that there's no ending for us.

& forever is in front of us.

just a word from me,

i'll be strong.

for you, i hold on.

i love you

& i nv want to leave.

i want to be with you;

till the end of time.

dreaming about us;

a house of our own.

baby-

i keep my promise,

i will be with you in Perth.

wait for me, will you?

& a promise that nv meant to be broken;

my promise to god,

you're the last one & i

gonna hold on.

i'm sorry that i hurt you.

& for all i did,

a cut to end it all.

trust me;

i love you.

be strong & wait for me.

pls...

i will rather die if i lose you.

i wanna to keep you by my side.

distance & time tear us apart.

but against all odds,

i gonna hold on

& love you more.

//baby;a word from u t keep me strong.//

2005-06-22T20:27:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry to hurt you.

i'm sorry that i love you.

i'm sorry that i have to go.

forever; we used to say.

but now...

there's don't seem to have forever.

i feel weak inside.

collasped & relapse.

i need a hug from you.

tears flow...

& it hurts.

i nv want to hurt you.

& i nv want to go.

i will stay with you as long as i can hold.

someday lit today will happen again.

thanks father for alston to be there.

i'm dancing in the rain.

spinning round & round.

when i was happily playing,

i fell...

basturb, i love you.

i don't know how to express my love.

do take care of urself.

i hope i can be ur pillars forever-

i won't lie to you anymore.

i promise; i wun leave you alone.

missed by bitch.

2005-06-21T17:59:00.000+08:00

falling sick again-

doc said some nasty stuff to me.

kinda sad.

he said i'm too weak to leave the country.

all cos' i bleed this morning.

low blood pressure.

wat shit?

i still young.

daddy is complaining.

i going mad-

i feel insecure-

i don't feel good at all.

the past overcome me.

the future is unclear.

uncertainty makes me weak.

i don't have the confidence to step forward.

the world seem crushing down on me.

i still love you.

like i always do.

matters unrest;

i lost control of myself.

i don't believe in fate before.

but now i do-

is fate that bought us today.

now-

i leave us to destiny.

distance & obstacles cos' us to part.

i hope we can start anew.

so,

hope when we meet up in perth,

we are together as one.

i want to enrol soon

& leave this place.

there's loads of thank-you

i want to say to you.

basturd; i love you.

& again..

we parted.

//you're forever in my hrt;thou' we not together you're the one.//

2005-06-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

contradicting;
fuck'em off.
get a life, please-
i think life is much better w/o you guys.
all this don't cos' me to hate you guys.
but cos' me to be disppointed & sad over it.

baby-
i only trust you.
so, think abt it.
too many things happened le.
but i got no doubt in you.
& pls-
dont doubt me.
lovee-

2005-06-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

i need someone to coax & pamper me now.

i just fought with my mother in the morning.
pain; i endured.
but strained our relationship.
mentally & physcially hurts.
bruise.

i miss her* alot.
i feeling insecure.
but- i can blame no one.
lovee.

i need to go out le..
but after i end tis entry..
a question:
What if i die, will ppl
start recalling wat evil they had done?

Father; take me with you.
I dont want to suffer anymore
hurts & tears no more..

//leave everything to fate.//

2005-06-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

smile cracked;
heart poured.

i just want to sit down
have a cup of english tea
& a cigarette in my hand.
a luxury-

as time goes by;
i feel worse inside.

2005-06-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

i'm happy for she*.
finally she learn to let go.
but guilty, i feel inside.
i'm sorry that i rejected you.
& cause so much hurts.
take care.
& cherish your new gf.
=)
a piece of advice;
don't bother what others said,
& be happy.

for me-
life is still the same.
i think i goin to find a part time job
to occupy myself.
missing her like i always do.
there's things that i don't want to know anymore.
i want to be happy.
not knowing the truth,
i can be happy.
anyway-
i wont be staying in s'pore.
feb intake seem long-
i want to go over & starts anew.
drifted apart from the reality.
but,
i'm happy to live in my own world.
less than 2 weeks...
she goin back.
i hope i m dead by then.
so i wont see her go..
so i wont shed anymore tears.
is diff now.
'let go' is not something i can do
overnight.

i fell in love with you,
is like a dream come true...
baby*, i love you.

contradicting*
bitchest among the bitches.
is affecting me.
stop wearing those masks.
i didn't expect you to do sucha a thing.
you said that you won't do things that hurt me.
but you lied.
i'm not angry but i'm sad.
s'pore really got nth
that make me stays...

kill me pls-
i look happy,
but i'm not inside.

2005-06-09T00:49:00.000+08:00

i feeling very lethargic.

just suffer from numbers of breakdown.

i missing her badly.

but-

things are not the same anymore.

i feeling damn insecure.

thou' is nth unusual,

i still can't focus.

i still deciding...

whether to go over perth by next week.

i need a break.

whenever i'm alone,

i cant help it, tears flow.

if letting go of a relationship seem so easy,

i won't be someone today.

my friend asked this question yst,

"issit memories or are you missing her?"

i thought it through...

i'm missing her.

partly is memories that hold me back

& is also because what we had gone thru.

is not so easy to let it go...

when she & her family make up part of my life.

staying at home kills me.

i will go REAL wild.

lost control of myself.

i missing her badly...

again & again i told myself..

she's happy, let her go.

but i can't.

i control myself for doin the sillest things on earth

lit i used to...

lit telling her wat happen & everything.

but i told i fell today.

so ps-

baby-

i wanna to tell u so much

lit i used to.

i wanna to share everything with you.

i miss you.

i wanna to tell you that i trying hard

but i cant let go.

i wanna to tell you,

i love you

& pls don't push me away.

hais-

take care.

drink more water.

i in spore 356 days,

now also fall sick le...

so you mus take care of yourself.

plans made-

meeting mabel on fri..

wanna to call that who out lehs..

but scare mabel mind.

mayb act?

hee-

evil*

sat meeting gong, not confirm.

fri night & sat night haven confirm.

but is my off day..

can dont go home..

make plans later bahs.

next week hook up with some old friends

to go do body art.

yeah-

lovin' it!

i kinda tired le.

having plans tmr,yet to confirm.

goin rocky to slack.

but morning,

i go exercise first.

//is hard to let go.//

2005-06-07T01:31:00.000+08:00

i losing control of myself again.

sorry.

alot of things happened.

family;love;myself.

i nv eat the whole day,

water is all i take.

i got no appetite.

& now...

i lose control again...

i hate myself.

i thought i can get over it.

start anew.

but i was wrong.

i cant.

i lost my true self.

is a pitch darkness in front of me.

i still marching on the spot.

but,

she is happy.

i think is time to let go.

i wanna to go perth soon.

get over this shit.

s'pore is no longer a place for me.

sucks-

my mother caught me red-handed.

but she knew it,

whatever she said will not

be registered in me.

she just went out of the room quietly.

leaving me inside...

i'm sorry.

truely sorry.

project*

we went tcc.

[talk cork cafe]

the manager so good-

gave us discount.

alston ate alot.

now he is on strict diet.

yupps-

finish with all the discussion.

kinda fun.

alston knew that i'm down,

he dance & make me laugh.

silly-

but he is a good jiemei.

then,

he bought me to see his gay friend; freddy.

he works in miss sixty.

he don't look like a gay to me.

yupps.

that's end my day with mdis-mates.

then,

back to far east to meet up with my friends.

acc them for shopping.

steal mickey mouse de shopping bags.

then,

my dad picks me up.

i don't feel well again.

not eating since yst.

so my stomach giving me problems again.

fuckcare*

i miss her badly.

i wanna to call her,

wanna to talk to her.

but she said something...

ain't we better this way?

for her is a yesh-

but for me is a no.

i don't want to let go.

in you i found myself,

but now-

i'm lost.

i'm always the last.

i'm navie.

//shattered;just die.//

2005-06-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Your kindess unto others,

has washed up onto me,

you helped me out when times were tough,

& you helped to make me see.

you have been so good to me,

& for that i love you so.

i've just begun to realize,

that my hopes & dreams are gone,

i'm walking down a dead-end road,

humming a tuneless song.

so with my sad & heavy heart,

this part comes to an end.

a thousand thoughts were

ready to spill.

but my mouth wouldn't talk

as my eyes began to fill.

thoughts raced through my head,

old memories played.

the thought of being alone,

made me feel so afraid.

this is the end.

i miss you dearly much.

2005-06-05T15:34:00.000+08:00

second blog & is gonna be my last.

i miss her badly.
i wan to msg her.
but, i m scare.
i scare to see her reply.
is ain't the same lit last time.
i love her.

i cant stop crying.
neither can i stop all the shit.
i need a break.

i wan to go that place.
i wan to be with her.

thanks ben;
i will be fine.
=)
mummy love you.

//is hard to let go//

2005-06-05T12:34:00.000+08:00

just leave me alone;
i will be fine.

i was once standing tall.
i was once deeply in love.
still do now.
i was once happy.
i was once blessed.
not now anymore.

i wanna to go over to perth now.
i wanna to chill out.
i know i cant take it anymore.
a promise broken;
i'm not strong.
another promise broken;
painless.

no mood for school.
no mood for work.
no mood for anything & everything.

only highly interested in self-abuse.

is all my memories,
i m holding on.
memories that will nv fade-

shopping spree;
movie maranthon;
FIMP maranthon;
see houses;
esplande;
ice cream;
puzzle;
zoo;
clubbing;
watch dvd;
sending me to sch;
promise that nv dump me alone;
promise that will nv leave me this holiday;
photos;
presents;
clock with message;
foods;
books;
kino;
i'm just dreaming-

i feel lost now-
i feel terrible.
i m not that strong.
i dont know who to rely/trust on anymore.
i lost hope in life.
& i lost faith in love.

dear father,
to you, i will keep my promise.
a promise that i will nv break.
'you're the last.'

dear father,
let me go.
why are you doing this to your child?

i nv wan to step out of hse.
just let me be.

looking that the pictures
& msgs...
tears.

why diminish all my hope & dreams?
i love you.
yes, i do...

i wan you to promise me so much.
forget about me.
i'm affecting you.
there's sth i always wan to ask..
do you love me?
fling is not my kind.
thanks for everything you do.
thanks for all the memories.
we have alot of thing nv accomplish.
we said that this holiday we will do it all.
whatever is it, dont hurt yourself.
jus enjoy urself.
& i miss you badly.

a pack of lies.

//i'm weak.//

2005-06-04T13:51:00.000+08:00

Fcukcare all the consequences.

Fcukcare all the dreams.

Fcukcare all the ppl.

i shouldn't even care at the start.

stop all this rubbish.

i need a life!

you left me speechless;

you left me looking like a fool.

i ain't the best.

neither do i want to be the best.

i want to be happy.

but i know...

i can't.

2005-06-02T21:45:00.000+08:00

think valuair gonna kill me.
they should be thinking,
"why tis mad ger keep wanting to chnage?"
yupps.
i wanna to change my flight again.
lit nobody's business again.
hee*
i wanna to fly back with her
for the one & only last time.
i goin over in feb.
so i dont think i will travel again.
=)
i missing her badly,
thou' i will be seeing her a days time?
hee*
butterflies gather in my stomach.

i happy now.
i dont want to b sad.
i will open my mouth & ask
rather tthan keepin quiet.
=)

i wanna fly with you*

2005-06-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

insecure.
after talkin t you-
being navie, is me.
i shouldn't dream my dreams.

loving you-
is what i proud of.
i nv know i can hold on for so long.
missing you-
is driving me crazy.
& talkin abt you,
makes me happy.

wondering,
what are you thinking now?
i will like you to share your feeling.
=)

sch-
tat guy fainted beside me.
gosh-
i totally lost.
eyes are looking at me.
die.
wonder how's tat guy?
know a gay in my class
& he is in my group.
he called alston.
=)
funny & gayish.

went town today-
FIMP my first stop.
hee-
den dotti to find alex* bro.
miss far est so much.
laos-
de employ two ah lians.
f*.
whatever...
i don't give a damn.

my puzzle gonne be ready
for pick up.
so happy-
i wanna to gif her a surprise.
=P
naughty: that's me again.

feeling that my old-self is back.
that heckcare & damn hyper girl.
=)
hope that nth goes wrong for me again.
alicia is praying hard.

//2 more days.yeah-//

2005-05-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

lost of words.

sink into daze.

is affecting me.

now,

looking at the pictures.

reminiscing the memories.

//still; i love you-.//

2005-05-31T01:51:00.000+08:00

suffering from another mood swing.
just don't know what's went wrong?
kinda stress.
setting high expectation;
causing more stress den usual.
kill myself over books.

baby-
seeing couples goin thru what
we had gone thru,
i feel blessed.
sorry for all the mood swing
these days.
& thanks for enduring it.
=)
b,
thanks for being my pillars
& stand by me.
you're standing tall-
can we fix a puzzle when u're back?
yupps.. i cant get back to sleep.
i was dreaming that i walked &
i suddenly fell from the stairs..
den i woke up.
kinda scary.
nah-
i need to go escape.
i think i having weak heart.=P
so can we go escape?

sch-
it S* to the core.
damn huge class abt 100 students.
all kinda of ppl.
young and old.
unique & weird.
black & white.
noisy & quiet.
nah-
i just dont like.
didnt mingle ard.
cos i'm choosy.
kinda stress over
my work now.
not goin to sleep.
i wanna to finish the essay.
i wanna go shopping tmr!!!

back to work*
alicia is missing you-

//4 more days;she will be BACK!//

lisha

2005-05-29T16:39:00.000+08:00

For my Dearest Da Da CUTE Mei Nu;

silly girl-

don't be sad no more.

yupps.. you gotta me went crazy.

i don't know what to do

when i know you cut yourself.

anything you're upset with,

just call me up

& i will make you laugh

like siao*

we can be lit the past...

where we talk about the sillest things

on earth...

& curse mr yap.

hee-

just recall those days in 4/7.

e 2 of us & yongxuan & arzil dear

bullying bear bear..

hee-

i kinda miss bear bear-

not missing him as a whole,

but miss bullying him.

yupps..

continue to keep your promise

that you wun leave..

& i keep mine.

i know that sometime

all this cuts will make ppl feel better.

usual saying...

there's ppl who care for you...

& you know..

it include me & nellie.

love you to the bits.

hey our tuedays

is coming..

remmeber okay?

take care

& we will talk tonight.

muacks.

-alicia

2005-05-28T15:05:00.000+08:00

Good friends,
who had surfed just
above the salty waters
of passion,
but never had they fallen right in.

i need a love that will last-

2005-05-28T03:07:00.000+08:00

suffering from another sleepless night.
maybe...
is because of what you said.
it simply hurts alot.
but it seem lit
you don't even care.
& this is what i gonna say:
are you hinting me tat you
are not serious at all?
are you telling me that i shouldn't
love you so much?
b, issit you wanna me to let go...
i just cant.
i don't know why i love you so deeply.
think it thru-
you said i can rely on you.
do you relying on someone
is more than love,
it also include trust & faith?
i can say this honestly,
i take you as my pillars of support..
cos i feel that i can depend on you
knowing you won't hurt me.
am i wrong to make sucha a remark?
is all up to you.
just tell me how you feel.
i don't like guessing.
what you said just now,
make me cried,
make me feel insecure.
i have no doubt in you.
once again-
it takes time for us
to be together again.

& b,
don't be stress.
i feel how u exactly feel
but...
i don't know how to make you feel better.
for what i see in you,
you can make it.
yupps,
you being playing more now..
but you will still be worry about
your sch work.
so u do study but not that
in to now.
so take it easy.
slowly-
i'll pray for you.
=)
but-
being the devil all the times.
i told myself this all the times.
if i'm worryin lit shit now,
what about the rest?
yupps...
tat's all i wanna to say.

but-
just give me time
to calm myself down.

watch the smile crack;
& the hurt pour.

2005-05-26T23:16:00.002+08:00

suffering from epidemic of emotions.
now,
i'm nonchalant.
accepting the facts that
i should move with the flow.

i used to be a lifelong agnostic.
but now i believe in you
;my father.
thanks for guiding me.

sorted*
we need to have maturity
to understand each other.
cos' i wanna us t last.

sorry-
that i m sensitive.
i have this phobia
building within me.
i m scared.
i took us a long way
to come to this far.
i love you;
i really mean it.
but my dearest:
is all up to you.

take care my baby-
see ya soon.

for that someone;
just let me go.
you should move on
& give other girls a chance.
lucks.
=)
i still treat you as my fren.
take care.

my irritating daddy
is disturbing me now.
cos' my mummy not home.

baby-
i hope one day we will live together.
& during weekend...
we take a stroll by the beach.
sit in the courch & watch dvd.
at night, you cook for me.
& i promise i will wash &
iron your clothes for you.
okie?
silly..
nth will happen to us.
cos' we have agree to be true.
we will be the couple standing out.
jus help those girls, make them
feel better.
& i will be proud of you.

all the while,
i m proud of you.
lovee-

2005-05-26T23:16:00.001+08:00

2005-05-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

2005-05-26T01:59:00.000+08:00

the breach of trust
was irreparable.
& cos' us
to be what we are today.
the aftermath;
leading us to agony.

it is beyond words
to describe how much
i love you
& yearn for happiness.

maybe...
we should let nature takes
it course.

somehow,
something had changed.
& somehow,
something in this forbidden city
have led me to you...

//i miss you more than you actually know...//

2005-05-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

sadness roam me now-
why am i willingly t change to change,
yet you dun believeme.
i cant help but t cry again.
is not the same anymore.
in my blog there no more memories
that contain you anymore.
i used to have entries from you
but not now anymore.
am i silly enuff to believe that
ifi willing to change,
we have a better future?
i love you-
give us a chance.
is all up t you.
i listen to you now.
nv go out
& cut all my contact.
but-
why all tis thing still
happen to me?

off t bed le-
i feeling feverish now.
mummy went overseas le.

mailina told me,
if i willing t change
& if i willin to give in
things will confirm be better.
confuse*

i miss her alot.
is all a misunderstanding.

2005-05-25T01:23:00.000+08:00

this entry is for you-

i m scare.
i scare it end again.
it takes two hands to clap.
but am i putting in enough effort?
tell me.
i hate quarrels.
i dun hope we quarrel again.
maybe i'm too sensitive.
at times when you said you love me,
i feel numb about it.
is lit a routine for you litdat.
i dun like it.
action speaks louder than words.
i hope you know that.
is so contriditing-
& at times when we quarrelled,
or giving each other cold shoulder,
"i love you" seem to help me
to feel better.
aiya-
i dunno what i am thinking.
pls-
i need nth but you staying faithful
& put in trust into this relationship.
i will change for good.
okie.
jus give each other a chance.

starting i tot..
i can make it thru.
standing on my own feet
& give you the blessing you yearn for.
but i was wrong.
i couldn't.
i miss you even more.
& wanna to hear your voice so much.
to stop all this,
i chose to hurt myself.

baby-
i m scared.
i dun hope this relationship fail in my hands.
i know there's things i do,
you dun like.
but it seem lit a habit to me,
& i cant kick this habit away.
now,
my world only contain you.
can i still rely on you?
can i still carry the hope that
you still got you by my side all the times?
thru bad times or good,
you will stay by me?
love me for who i am?
i just need words from you to feel safe.

you are more than anything.
i cant afford to lose you.
if there's no ade,
there's no alicia.

//11 more days.//

2005-05-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

sunshine after the rain-
i'm happy with everything now.
i feel bless.
no more arguement.
no more self-hurting.
i m whole again-

cant wait to see her again in s'pore.
so fast three months past.
& think back alot of things happened
w/o control.
but yupps-
god is kind.
he bring us back together.
12 more days.
& another 6 days
i starting sch.
& rebecca is in my class.
aiya-

thanks da da mei nu
for being there for me-
& as usual..
i will be there too.
okie?
dun sad sad.
=) k?
jus go recall
what we did in class..
how we make mr yap angry
& our eating session in class
& bear bear!!!
hee-
i miss those days.
take care okie?

baby-
do you know i long to be in your arms.
i miss your smell.
i miss your everything.
knowing that you coming back soon..
i really happy.
i cant wait to pick you up
& spend everyday with you.
but-
everytime you return i will be happy.
but as days pass-
i fear to let you go again.
thinkin tat i will be alone again
make me tear.
baby-
when can we really be together
& nv seperate again?
you nv be replace in my heart.

//reality come after dreams.//

2005-05-20T03:03:00.000+08:00

yupps-
i will really like to go for the fashion show.
but again no thanks.
i wanna to stay hm.
i jus feel lit locking myself up.
read storybook.
go thru my work.
complete the puzzle of the pic.
& that it.

irritating ppl-
fuck off k.
i m not interested in you guys.
stop flooding my inbox.
no space to recieve so much craps k.
jus go away.

to you-
thanks for everything you do.
it touch me from the start.
i love you.
& yes, i still do.
sometime u may do thing
that is really irritating
but is alrights.
i wun be angry with you.
miss you badly.

another pathetic day past.
went to the library to collect some information
that will help in my sch work.
den drop in at spore post
t gif the presents a one last chance.
if cannot make it again.
i will throw it al away.
there's this irritating guy that flood my phone.
fu*k.
nv bother to reply.

god-
take my life away.
the wound still not okie.
damn itchy.
i will still get down on my knees
every night & pray.
god, do sth to my prayer.
lovee-

nights.

//thanksgodforsendingyoutome.//

2005-05-19T01:41:00.000+08:00

missing you-

2005-05-19T00:45:00.000+08:00

to you, i'm the bitch.
yupps. the coin has two sides.
but i nv said anything about us ard.
stop all tis.
pls-

i surprised phee called me.
& talked to me abt the flight.
yupps, friday is coming.
& even mai asked me to go.
but i still confused.
my mum know abt 'it'.
hais.
& asked me not to cry over a spilled milk.
but she said abt the flight...
she hope i dun go.
but i hold the decision.
i wan to go over... but...
i m scare.
i dont like tis feeling.
not at all.
just peace.

my day-
i went back to far east
to collect yst cash
& put it in the bank.
Alex came over & asked me to join him
for a fag.
as usual...
he asked me.
i wore long sleeve today-
but he saw it.
but i nv say anything.
i kept quiet.
he know why i quit
cos de told him.
he really lit a big bro to me.
whenever i feel low,
he will know.
i scare of de.
tmr i goin back to pass her some stuff.
i scare she see it.
hais.

at night-
i went to look for aaron
cos he called mi up in the afternoon
when i at idp.
& as usual we meet up at our usual place.
he told me abt his stuff
& yupps.. i m listening.
den he said tis to me.
believe what ur eyes see &
not what your ears hear.
he asked me to b strong.
we talked alot...
i lazy to write.
yupps..
we r talkin on the fone again.
crapping away.
i didnt go up.
so nv to worry.
aaron know the same tattoo guy as me.
he goin to put tattoo again.
yupps i wanna tag along.

feelin kinda weak now.
sick again.
hais.
i hope god can take my life away.
serious.

somehow i regret spendin my parents' 2k
on my course.
plus i studying biomedical too.

de asked me to work part-time.
i told her no.
i said enough of all tis shit.
i need a life.

for you-
yupps something for you.
something that i nv get to say anymore.
not to worry ur laptop will learn to love you.
you're not alone.
i miss you alot.
but mayb tis is only the period of time.
everything takes time.
but i rem something you said b4.
you're my heartbreaker.
no, u're not.
i kept askin myself wat i fall for...
is simple.
cos you're sensible enough at heart but
not action.
but you're great.
you show me happy family.
which mine is not.
& most of all..
you are chi qing.
i hope we forget the whole thing
cos i dont hope to talk abt it anymore.
lucks.

the ticket-
i m confuse.
stop quarreling.
thanks.

//youdontventyourangeronme.//

2005-05-18T08:38:00.000+08:00

we are grown-up.

we speerated.

you're moving on

but i have not.

but-

i wun contact anyone.

so not to worry.

neither your family.

take care.

love is jus so fragile.

& for one thing.

ppl are blind.

i make a veri crucial decicion in my life.

i took up the course that will

forever make mi casted under the shadow of her.

i wasted my parents' money for the air ticket.

but there's sth i know in exchange of all tis.

i wanna to be casted under her shadow.

i wanna to do thing that will rem me of her.

& that will be the one last thing.

tis apply to some ppl-

sorry.you guys are just friends to me.

nth more den a friend.

isnt it obvious enuff tat i don't like anyone of u.

but thanks.

stop wasting your money & time.

i nv wan to get commit in anymore relationship.

i still love her.

it's all take time to let go; for me & for you.

yupps-

for lisha & nellie.

sorry that about the cut.

you all are fuming.

sorry i went mia.

& thanks lisha

for passing me that msg.

that hurting msg from her.

& as for nellie.

the one last cut; i m sorry.

for that special someone-

thanks for stepping into my life.

you're a wonderful partner.

thanks for all those words you said.

i feel secure & safe.

yupps-

but i m sorry,dude.

i still love her alot.

is a misunderstanding you know.

everyone knows except her.

but thanks anyway.

i promise i wun die.

move on & find someone else, k.

nobody come as close as her.

take care.

for you-

i nv know you will delete my blog entry.

yupps those are yours.

but i jus wan to keep it as memories.

i just write finish this few months thing into

the grey book of yours.

i will burn it, dont worry.

i will get outta of your life.

& pls...

i m not childish person.

i will let it go.

i wun bother abt you for sure.

yupps they don't belong to me from the start.

but i really love them at heart.

is a misunderstanding.

jus end it.

for ben-

thanks.

for everything that you have done for me.

my friend, my ex-son...

& intro friends to me.

thanks.

but is all takes time.

dont cut urself.

even i cut, u oso cannot cut.

& yupps-

it hurts but in my heart.

take care.

i promise i will go clubbing with you one day.

& you know i will.

cheer up.

i nv wan to see you cry.

yupps..

the end.

i goin out now to do my enrolment for aussie.

need to go down le.

btw-

ticket to perth-

anybody wan?

at least i wun waste my parents' money.

contact me on my fone.

//acutthathurtsotherbutnotmyself,ifeelnumb.//

2005-05-17T13:04:00.000+08:00

my last blog-

yupps jus wake up.
& the first ting i do is to call back home.
i wanna to talk to them so much.
& i m scare that i dont have
the chance anymore.
kor said he wan to see me.
i also wan to see him.
i really do.
but i scare i cried.
i really scare-
called back to er gu & mummy too.
yupps talk on the fone lit usual.
i miss them.
i goin to pick up her stuff at the spore post.
that's the end.
512 straw hearts has no meaning anymore.

for that someone-
silly, why are you seeking forgivness now?
i nv blame you for letting go.
is all abt matual agreement to end.
you have ur sch work to handle
& i have my vball & studies.
you will always be my good friend.
=)
take care.
see you in aussie.

i need to go out le.
amk.

//a cut to pay u back.//

crazy over you. the song i like to hear-

2005-05-17T01:19:00.000+08:00

Crazy Over You
by 112

I Fell In Love With You
It was Like A Dream Come True
And My Love For You Will Never End Oh No
It Was Such A Special Night
You Lay Right By My Side
And I Told You Things I'd Never Tell A Soul

And Now That I Have You Baby Baby
I Promise I'll Never Leave (Never Leave)
Cause You Are The Only One That Makes My Life Complete

And I'mCrazy Over You
I Don't Know What To Do
I'm Crazy Over YouYou You You
Repeat

A Love That Never Ends
You're More Than Just A Friend
And My Heart And Soul I'll Always Give To You
The Only In My Life
Someday You'll Be My Wife
And I'll Be With You Until The End Of Time

Repeat 1
Repeat 2 Two Times

Ohhhh It Doesn't Matter What You Say Or Do
Because I Love You (And I Know You Love Me Too)
Love Me, Kiss Me, And Hold Me In Your Arms
Lets Me Know You're Crazy For Me
And I'm Crazy Over You
I Told You I Love You
I Told You I Would Never Go
Cause You Are The Only One, To Make My Life Complete.

Repeat 2 Til End

(Sang Above Number 2) I'll Pay Your Rent
I'll Buy Your Clothes
Girl I Will Cook Your Food For You (Food For You)
I'll Do Anything
Whatever You Want Baby Just Don't Ever Leave.

(i still love this song alot.humming with
the music now, as tears rolled down my cheek.)

2005-05-17T00:14:00.000+08:00

after reading her blog.
i feel that i m the fool.
get lost in my life.
tat cut is for her & not me.
dont said you love me once.
cos you don't.
i lied to you is my fault.
but your heart changes so fast.
i didnt know you are sucha person.
it breaks my heart.
bye-

2005-05-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

another chapter in my life closed.
that once again bought tears into my eyes.

in your life.
u already choose ur path.
which is maye.
thanks.
get back to her.
be with her.
bye.
& take care.

i have no regrets turning to ter.
i really don't.
he is my best sister.
someone that i can talk to.
a gay...
we fought over a gay.
& end it.
but at least i know something.

u are on the winning side.
a cut & a gay that ruin me.
don't worry.
i will cut all contact with ppl you know.

i will let you go.
you think i love myself more den i love you.
b, u r wrong.

thanks for everything.
thanks for loving me.
but there's one thing..
i nv ever think of turning str8.

bye.

//don't cry,butterfly.//

melts-

2005-05-16T15:11:00.000+08:00

i feel so minute,
& the whole world came crushing down.

A cut that cos a scar on your hand,
but a scar in my heart.
i m scare.
i don't know why-
[tongues that speak evil.]

Yst had casted a shadow in my life.
& i m alone again.

i learnt something over a night.
nv believe anyone.
don't ever-
i hope they die.
i nv curse before.
yupps-
i m serious abt it tis time.

jus a night,
i lost everything.
& i almost lost her.
nobody approve this relationship.
they do in the past but not now.
cos of me.
is me that cos her to cut herself.
i really love her alot.
it hurt so much.
i wanna to die so much.
ay-
i suffering from a slow one.
ain't i?

there's alot of element to hold a long distance relationship.
first come the fate that bring us together..
second the love that build within us.
thirdly...
hold on to tis relationship.
we cant effort to lose each other.

i wanna to go back to the past.
where she is by my side.
where we walk together hand-in-hand after
the show.
our ice cream days.
sleepin in each other arms.
where my life only consist her.
i used to wake up with her by my side.
we are together & inseparatable.
i wanna to go back to the past.

but now-
i have stop moving on.
i wanna a more stable relationship
before i go over aussie.
i dont want ppl to say things i don't want to hear.
what will other think?
the cut, me & her.

thanks for loving me so much.
thanks-
but do you know,
it hurts me so much?

for the person that once is impt to me:
amazing for you to say sucha thing.
you are really once impt to me.
but not anymore.
cos for hearing what you said.
just go our separate ways.
lucks & take care.
love yourself.
that wat's i wan to say.

my last blog-
i feel lit goin mia.
tears that nv dry.

take care my baby.
& i still love you.

//no one else come close.//

dead.

2005-05-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

once again-
i thinking real hard.
i just wanna t be happy,
is that very hard?
yupps.it is.
taking another break tmr.
fri & sat too.
hope it is enough.

today-
in da shop.
i n my boss talked abt her again.
yupps.. talked abt how i met her..
why i love her deeply?
jus abt us.
isst part of lovee-
where you love to talk abt ur partner
& luff along with it?
i miss her alot.
but there's no need to say it out.
i wan her to know.
i m loving her.
i m not giving excuses.
neither did i take her as a joke.
is really hard...
lit mai said.
she & ricky really go thru alot.
but they have all the elements.
i hope i have too.

nights.

//tears that nv dry.//

reborned-

2005-05-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

sitting under the starry sky
it should be a lovely night.
but-
the princess cried.

she wants to be with her prince charming.
but-
they are separated.

will there be happily ever after lit
the rest of the fairytales?

distance keep them apart.
but the princess still feeling very strong for the prince.
being apart-
misunderstanding crop up.
she feel guilty.

nights.

another day-

2005-05-08T03:49:00.000+08:00

a stick can ease away all the pressure.
& fu*king problems.
sucha a problematic life.
i don't want to lead sucha life.
lies & lies & more liesss...
leave me alone.

is always you

2005-05-06T01:39:00.000+08:00

is always you that bought tears to my eyes.
i really miss you alot.
& i really need to talk to you.
but...
i cant find you at all.
where are you?
do you know i need you most now?
do you know i m very sad?
do you know u play a part in all my decision?
do you know that i love you?
do you know...
i don't think you know.
cos you're outside.
all i can say & do is pray that you are safe.

baby-
you're the person that i rely on the most.
don't dump me alone.
i need you.

imu-

baby baby baby

2005-05-03T11:13:00.000+08:00

she bring me to the higest level of love.
& i love her.

forever-

//crazy over you.//

sadness

2005-05-01T09:24:00.000+08:00

finally home.
another sleepless night.
the sun rose & shone at me.
is a long day ahead.
suddenly i find it hard to pass today.

another day of missing you.

who can i repy now.

why make me cry again.

i love you.

takecaremylove.therealwaysawayout.
ifyouarestress,dotakeawalk.
you'renotalone.
youhavefrensoverthere&mummyoverherethatloveyou.
metooislovingyousomuch.
justthatwedon'thavethechancetoactuallybetogether
.baby,allthebest.=)

//istillchoosetoloveyou.you'retheone.//

2005-05-01T04:13:00.000+08:00

i still care & love you.
it will be a lie,
if i say i can let it go.
tears jus flow.
thanks for everything.
i jus get to read the msg too late.
i happy for nth jus now.
shattered-

listening to the cd i jus bought.
112.
i finally got it.
but-
nvm.
jus leave it to dr ooi.

take care my love.
jus a sec, things changes.
a talk of love make me feel bless tat very day.
& i know that there's true love that exist.
& i have found it.

thanks for the care & concern.
thanks for the love once again.

//i wan a love that will last; is you.//

2005-05-01T03:33:00.000+08:00

i at the hosp now.
sound cool to use ur doc laptop rite.
but ain't for me.
i staying here tonight.
he kinda close to me.
he more lit a bro to e den a doc.
the both of us got the same surname; ooi.
yupps my report come out le.
don't really want to talk abt it.
but dr ooi let me leave for perth.
he said it may do some help to me.
so i m partly glad.
yupps.. deanna oso let me go for my holiday.
sound cool?
but tis is only partly.
i ain't happy over the report.
neither do i wan to cry over it.
so just let it be.
but before i leave to go overseas & stay..
is a must for me to get well.
i listen to baby..
no milk no chilli.
cant imgain i eat food with ketcup today.
but nah-
i still vomit everything out.
don't know why.. jus throw out lit tis.
=(
i miss my baby alot.
didnt really talk much to her today.
she told me she go to the city.
wondering 1 week enuff for me mahs?
i getting my pay on monday.
grins*

baby-
i called yst abt the ticket.
yupps still got vacancy.
so i think i flying over soon.
i cant wait to go over & stay with you.
i'm totally urs.
but don't know wheather my clothes are thick enuff.
u know' i wear not too many & not too little.
so ur arms come in handy.
=P.
baby- i miss you.
bring ur watch & everything over.
so happy-
oh ya- baby i taking a weekday off so i can meet mummy.
i talked to her today.
=)
another thank you.
cos is you...
somehow the tot of you make me smile.
aint my fren's bf sweet?
bought her a dog & bring to shop.
den she so happy shoe to me.
cos she know i m a dog lover.
is jus remind me of you & waggi.
you popping out at ricks.
smile & wink den go away.
hee-
act as my customer somemore.
silly.
i love you.
got a surprise for you again.
jus wait & see.
=)

//forever you're the one.//

lovee-

2005-04-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

Cries at movies.
sings at operas..
yells at umpires.
cheats at cards.

2005-04-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

i feeling real low today.
tmr will be the day i getting
my report.
its somehow determine my life.
hais.
all i need is ur arms ard me.
t make me feel safe.
i come all the way to cine jus
to use com.
hais.
pathetic.
qroking almost everyday.
miss my 'special' place.

baby-
i love you.
we finally get to talk for long last night.
a long really long 1.
i m sorry.
after this week i will be less busy.
enjoy urself wif aud & jae.
i wanna talk to you so much.
i really scare that i disturb you.
i jus rely on you too much.
sorry again.
i didnt call u today.
cos i feeling vex over my report.
sorry.

//mrs ooi, i need you.//

2005-04-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

Your care & concern
often adds an extra sparkle
to my life.
& You make my life complete.
You bring joy to my life
& stay by my side all the times.
Through ups & downs,
you stay with me.
i love you, baby-
Life w/o you sucks so much
just like now.
Stars, butterfly & straw hearts remind me of you.
Thanks for all the assurance you give me.
I'll always remember you & our memories.
You're the first in my mind.
no lying.
i feel werid w/o calling you & msg you.
it already a routine that's i hear your voice.
all your msgs just spark up my life.
& you're always on my mind.
You're always someone i can rely.
& i hope is forever.

baby, i miss you alot.
princess & the prince.
lovee-

2005-04-26T10:14:00.000+08:00

baby boy-
thanks for all the things you do.
i really appreciate.
ilu-
you're so sweet.
thanks god for you.
you're the only person
that make my heart beats faster.
& make me have butterfly in my stomach.
i miss your voice so much.
sorry... suddenly feel so sick.
ay- i look better.
can't wait to go over aussie.
thou' is just 1 week,
i am so happy.
i saving real hard.
lovee-

//u're a gift from god.//

2005-04-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

don't cry, butterfly.

appreciate?
yes, i do.
i don't know what happening.
for what i know if this continue...
things won't be the same anymore.
& emptiness is all i feel.
am i thinking too much?
for all i know,
i am really deeply in love.

you're the first in my heart.
but i know you don't feel that way.
i don't know how to express myself anymore.
in the shop,
i will look thru the rack for your clothes..
see shoes for you.
at my own shop,
hearts & more hearts...
talks abt you & me.
you, you & more you-
imu.
do you?

god, issit all retribution...
issit time for me to pay my sin?
i didnt do anything wrong or harm anybody.
why am i so different from others.
why do i need to see a doc since young.
why, why & why?
ans me.

//don't leave.//

sick-

2005-04-24T01:07:00.000+08:00

am i consider as a drug addictor?
i can't help it keep popping in medinice.
i m so tired after the therapy.
which consist of blood test,
urine test... stroll? & fucking needle poking.
i need a life.
without chlordiazepoxide...
i will die.
i cant endure the freaking pain anymore.
is getting worse everyday.
& i try my best not to look lit some sicko.
i still carry my alicia's big smile.
i don't hope ppl wonder what's wrong with alicia.
saw nai...
kinda sad, cos she said i look damn pale.
how to look vibrant?
lame question.
whatsoever-

you don't seem to care now.
we been talkin less.
you busy with your life...
=(
getting less msg...

eric said," too little oso cannot, too much also cannot."
aiya- dilemma.
this is how i feel now too.
i crazy over you & i don't know what to do.
& tell me everything is alright.

//realised;u make a big impact in my life.//

2005-04-23T11:18:00.000+08:00

you took me on a wild ride.
& now i lost my way.

today-
i don't feel lit goin anywhere.
not even the fucking therapy.
suddenly the whole world came
crushing down.

i m sorry that i hurt you.
but- i didnt know this is who i m in your eyes.
i hurt you w/o realising..
but u too, hurt me w/o knowing.
i m not happy at all.
after all the effort i put in..
i still lose you.
take care.
i still love you.

i taking a break from everything.
sorry ppl.
esp. mai.
don't be panic if u cant get me.
i'm fine, silly.

=(

2005-04-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

a break away from life.
went t my special place.
slack there.
i miss everything there.
there's some changes.
but good changes.
i miss the bed.
the smell of the cardboard.
& the people.
is my little hide-out.
little princess is alive.
but where's my prince?
miss my prince.
=)
da-gu & er-gu cook a sumptuous meal for me.
fatty ass*
mummy turn veri pretty.
but she blur queen.
almost got knock down by a car today.
=P lucky- she's fine.
called my lil' bast*** many times today.
but after the medication,
i knock off in my bed.
miss the smell of butterfly prefume.
i miss her arms.

for you-
i m sorry that i m angry.
i dun wan u to get involve in all this shit.
if u were me, i got the urge of taking it
will u get piss?
dun say u wun..
cos u will.
as goes to me.
i love you, i dun wan anything to happen to you.
the word 'DESIRE' is a serious word.
if u think i m naggy,
i wun anymore.
i m sorry.
hais it will days later den i will be able to talk to u.
i miss you.
baby-
i don't wan t go op.
i really dun.
suddenly we hang up,
everything come together.
another breakdown.
you're all i need now.
lovee-
i don't hope i lost control of you.
=(

//every life has one true-love snapshot.-imu.//

is u i need-

2005-04-20T03:14:00.000+08:00

i m tired.
a break-down.

//i need you the most.//

2005-04-20T01:19:00.000+08:00

i miss the way you smile,
i miss the blur look on your face,
i miss the sweet tender loving care you showered on me...
i just simply miss you as a whole.

2005-04-19T01:06:00.000+08:00

i haven blog for ages.
& thanks baby for ur entry.
she's the sweetest.
she tolerate all my rubbish
& never complain.
i feel that i m sucha a bad gurl of hers-
i will piss her off everyday,
bully her..
& yet she still cares for me
& pamper me.
-guilty*

having bad sore throat now.
my immune system is weak.
but i m fine.
i can sing at the top of my voice.

for you-
i m sorry.
i remember the day before u left,
my eyes welled up with tears.
i don't hope to go through this again.
i feel of letting you go,
ain't good.
but-
baby, i love you alot.
& so, i hope you have the bestest out of everything.
i'll stand by you,
& love you dearly.
by 24 yr old... u're totally mine!
& i will be 23..
at that time i have finished my degree.
=)
baby-
today i been thinking of opening a cafe.
i kinda crazy.
maybe cos' i miss those days at spins.
baby, i'm sorry.
forgive me okay?
after a cry, i think better.
i m sorry.
silly, i always scare you leave me.
so dun k?
=( ilu.

today-
got ppl steal sth!
den got police.
den got kpos lit me, my senior & my boss.
hee-
whatever.
but pray real hard that nth lit tis happen in my shop.

//hand-in-hand, we stroll under the starry sky.//